#fujoshi stay winning

[lhaylo]

Anya Mouthwashing Fujoshi Stimboard

[airjemsfandump]

Crying over this whump scene again and the fact that in his moment of absolute torment from the poison bound to ruin his body and mind, Xiaobao remembers Huaien--the man who broke his trust, stripped their family of their wealth, made them be sent to prison, and basically destroyed everything he's ever known, but not in that light. No. The Huaien he remembers is the one with the soft eyes, rare smiles, and hands--such soft hands that held him tenderly like a true lover and I'M JUST--😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[bbluesrreality]

Women fetishizing mlm relationships is hot

[shutinlear53]

Jenson Button woke up and said "Yeah, I'll feed the F1 fujos tonight"

[sillycent]

just a fudanshi boy looking for his fujoshi girl in a world of bl and shonen ai lovers.....

[abtrusion]

The New Couple: Women and Gay Men (or: Fag Hag Theory)

There's a special place in my heart for the proto-queer theorists of the 60s and 70s -- without any gay activists to tell them what to do, and with psychiatry partially wrestled from the very boring men of old-school Freudianism, scholars sometimes developed what can only be described as a sort of rampant academic fujoshiism. The paragon of this kind of work is the (1979) text The New Couple: Women and Gay Men, which advocates "new couples" between (straight?) women and gay men as a fascinating mutation of political lesbianism:

Dr. Les Collins, a sociologist, gave his impressions of women he has known who have been involved in successful love relationships with gay men: The women tend to be rather confident people; they tend not to be homebodies. They have sources of self-validation outside the home and outside their relationship with their mate. They tend to be able to compete reasonably successfully in a man's world. Socially they are more androgynous and ipso facto less "female." They are women somewhere in the middle who can relate to others in rather new, rather androgynous ways. That says nothing about their sexual orientation. A female can be "hopelessly heterosexual," to use Evelyn Hooker's phrase, but still relate to bisexual or gay men and do it in an androgynous fashion.

Sure, bisexuality, but seriously some of these "women" are gay as shit! We've all heard the standard fag hag reasons -- ohhh, I want to party but I don't want to get hit on, etc. Boring! I want to trace the "women" who loved gay guys a little too much. The problem here is that these women are doubly cut from history: there are very few studies of 1960s-80s gay life where researchers were really trusted, and as Warren's (1976) study shows [1], women who fucked gay men tended not to be too public about it:

Noelle: I just like the gay men better. When you're getting older, they are the only men who will really appreciate you, be warm to you. Mildred: The gay men make me feel more like a woman than the straight men, who just grab at you and then go watch TV. Interviewer: Have you ever had sex with one of the gay guys? Mildred: Oh yes, occasionally, but I'd never say anything in front of the group, or indicate anything to anyone. Interviewer: Do you have a straight sex life? Mildred: Yes, but I keep that separate and I don't get too close to the straight men because I know I'll always be disappointed.

These sexual relationships, along with pseudo-incestuous T4T relationships in transfem houses and butch4butch relationships in lesbian communities, occupy a sort of doubly submerged position which makes them very difficult to trace in the archive -- even understanding 'hegemonic' relationships in gay communities is difficult because of how rancid the academic gaze is, and understanding dirty-little-secrets (as with cheating/john cultures in straight society) is even harder. A framework for finding weird things:

We're looking for horniness between women and gay men; the precise form of it doesn't matter.

Many testimonies (like the above) say that gay men make them feel "more like a woman." This says less about gender than you'd initially think, because womanhood is deeply tied into the desirability politic in a way that manhood isn't, and femininity can mean something very different in gay male spaces.

Bisexuality isn't a useful framework here for two reasons:

There's no gay male social equivalent of the 'gold star lesbian,' and the male bisexual had very little social weight pre-AIDS, so bisexuality doesn't matter a ton to most of these people.

Most of these women seem to be particularly attracted to sex/romance through the standards of gay community. While gender is important, the cultural orientation of the community seems to be just as important.

Have fun and fujo out!!!!!

pseudo-appendix of extremely faggy women

Frances talking about her platonic-ish relationship with a gay man, Vincent:

He's so comfortable with his homosexuality. Knowing him has helped me because I was unsure of my sexuality. I was really out of touch with myself. When Vincent and I are together, I find myself to be a more physical person. We have a common interest, the male body. I listen to Vincent talk about certain aspects of his sexuality, details of his sex life, and I realize we are both going after the same thing—men. When we ride the subway we check out men's bodies, their genitals, and we like to talk about it. Before I met Vincent I never would have looked at a man that way. Now I know that the male body is very appealing to me.

Another straight woman, Eva, was a lot better at putting things to practice:

After this had been going on about a year, I started running around pretty exclusively with this one gay man Keith who's just so beautiful. Typical all-American, tan, blond, perfect lips and mouth, just so hot, but really a queen. He didn't dress up in women's clothes but he was very nellie, very effeminate. He said to me, "I don't know anything about women, would you sleep with me? Would you make love with me? I'd like to see how it is." And I said, "Okay." We had been going around together for quite a while, we were pretty good friends and I thought, "Why not?" So we started this affair, but it wasn't really an affair, it was just an experiment. He had a beautiful apartment, he had mirrors around his bed and he had a dildo about the size of a man's arm that he kept wanting to shove up my cunnie. I couldn't handle it. I said, "Man, the thing is too big." He said, "Well, I use it on my boyfriends." They do something called fist-fucking, where they actually get their whole hand up their boyfriend's ass. I can't imagine it. I wonder if butt fucking gives you colon trouble later on? Oh great, I love it. That is one of the things that gays like about me: I do like to get fucked in the ass. I love it; I just go crazy, I don't know why. A lot of women don't, but I love to do it both ways... Well the dildo wasn't working; it was a horrible thing. He couldn't get it in me anywhere so he tried other ways. I had to instruct him that when you're having vaginal sex you can't have anal sex first. You've got to have vaginal sex first and then anal sex or just anal sex. The fact that these guys are probably incredibly diseased never occurred to me. I never once got the clap from anybody, which is a miracle, because it is just rampant. Anyway Keith and I had kind of an affair; we'd sleep together often, and we'd sleep with other men. Sometimes I'd watch him screwing other men, sometimes other men would watch him screwing me. Sometimes we'd just watch each other in the mirror. We were always doing it in really bizarre ways. It was never conventional sex. It was always like over the back of a folding chair, in front of the mirror, hanging over the edge of the bathtub, or up the side of the wall—very strange positions. He was just curious as hell.

Lesbians like Jane also appear readily in these pieces:

All my friends now are gay, mostly gay men. I don't particularly like gay women. Most of the gay women I know who are friends I've met through Gail. But gay bars in this city, women's gay bars, are notoriously godawful. They're just dykes, the old syndrome. They look terrible. I just don't like them. But I have always had a number of gay male friends. Even before I came out, anybody who got close to me was a gay man. Faggots love me. I don't know what it is. When I go out to Fire Island for summers, I'm like a queen out there. Faggots just flock to me. I don't know why. I don't know if I'm outrageous or funny or what. Maybe it's because I accept them. And I'm pretty; faggots love pretty women. My dear friend Rex is a real faggot head. He works as a waiter in a gay bar. He is a gorgeous little boy with a fantastic body and he knows it. He's twenty-six now -- I don't know what he's going to do with himself when he gets to be thirty-five or forty because he can't always be this gorgeous little boy. He is to me the epitome of the gay head, the male gay head. It is strictly body... Rex just loves me, adores me, and I adore Rex. He has a mother-father image for Gail and me. It's like a joke: Rex is our son and we're his mother and father.

Unlike with straight women, lesbians tended to emphasize their dislike of lesbian communities (for more examples see [1]). They sometimes discussed gay relationships as a place where they could be feminine (and not have to see 'dykes,' as Jane states), but other lesbians like Pauline enjoyed a proximity to manhood:

"When my main focal point was men and I wanted men to be interested in me, I gave up a lot of myself to acquire a certain behavior—to be feminine, to be weak, all those things. To dress a certain way, to act a certain way. I gave up a lot of myself. Now Dick is gay and is not at all interested—there is no way I can play that game with him. He's not interested. If I were an automatic female, I would look very stupid to him. I would look funny doing that in front of a gay man"

Also important to Pauline was Dick's acceptance of her "masculine" style: "I have masculine mannerisms, they are just inherent in me. I never liked the role, the act called 'feminine.' I never liked it, so I never learned how to do it."

Footnotes

Women among men: Females in the male homosexual community

Sexual Deviance -- John Gagnon

The Joy of Gay Sex: An Intimate Guide for Gay Men to the Pleasures of a Gay Lifestyle (see intro for brief discussion of fag hags)

The Sexual Outlaw: A Documentary

Fag Hag: A Theory of Effeminate Enthusiasms -- thank you @banamine-bananime!

[amiap]

ALL REFERENCES in Confessions Of a Rotten Girl by

[circumlocutive]

Re: autistic catboy twink+ bf threesome, I just taught the boys what fujo means and offered to get us takeout and I get this in the chat

[terryxsi]

Yall will never catch me hating on a fujoshi they’re literally my sisters in christ

[lesbianaloe]

finished chapter 8!

[meatyhandbag]

Tora has multiple volumes worth of yaoi fanfics she's written about the various men in the league. Orion/Guy and Super/Guy are her big two favorites, but also Guy/Ted, Guy/Booster, Guy/J'onn. She's even written some non-guy yaoi involving a what-if where Orion became a green lantern and then got a very particular bowl-cut hairdo.

Justice League America #52

Tora, what did you think she meant?

Bonus:

[airjemsfandump]

ᬊ Work him, darling.

[grungiiuvu]

Junwu- player one truther anon here, and what if Ling Wen is player one (💀) She just hasn’t read the book and that’s why she’s so pissed. She has no clue why Xie Lan stays winning and doesn’t know she’s fighting a fujoshi YA god to get a promotion. She completes mission after mission in order to raise her rank only to be thwarted by Xie Lan making a pie and then failing????

👀👀👀👀

[shutinlear53]

so here's what's gonna happen:

I will cum inside a feminine guy

I will make the fujoshi lick up the semen spilling from his ass

[canonically47]

re re re review!

ahh fuck it i stayed up this late might as well review now!

disventure camp all stars episode 12: hungry like the wolf - review

SPOILERS!!! (but you knew that.)

boring challenge premise but whats new

derek absolutely mistreats trevor (and his remorse is sooo half-assed and ooc jjst between you and me btw) but whats new

this episode will suck but whats- oh shit wait a sec!!

KING ALEC KICKED TOM IN THE BALLS LFG FUCK YOU TOM 🔥🔥🔥

jake and aiden not being petty and not arguing for once just for jake to ruin it by talking about tom is. oof. talk about being the second worst character. this guy just never gets better

absolutely hilarious how alec went up to connor, sweet talked him, then saw the flag and attacked him. then proceeded to win. what a fucking king.

good to see riya go for some long-run strategy by possibly securing her safety with ally. but it's obvious ally has very little left to live on the show so who cares.

good on connor for proving he was worth coming back! i dig him. i think a finale with him, alec and maybe someone like grett or gabby would be so fun to watch, granted that alec wins ofc but still

oo a tie!!! uuugh but i bet it'll be tom that wins anyways because ONC loves the love triangle and the fujoshis that worship tomjake and- wait what the fu

OHHHHH MY GOOOOOOOOD TOM WENT OUT I AM SOOOO FUCKING HAPPY RIGHT NOW GUYS. GUYS. GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!

*vox voice* YEEEEEEESSSS!!! FUUUUCK 🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼 YOU TOM AHAHAHAHAAAAA ‼️‼️‼️ THIS IS BETTER THAN ANGRY REVIEWS 🗣🗣🗣🔥🔥🔥

guys do you understand that ONC conciously took the decision of a tie-breaker that MADE TOM LOSE. do you understand how much unfortunate faith i have in them rn. THANK GOD THE LOVE TRIANGLE IS OVER

I REPEAT THE LOVE TRIANGLE IS OVERRRRRR AHAHAHAHHAAH 🗣🗣🗣‼️‼️‼️🔥🔥🔥🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼 FUUUUUUUUCK THIS OVERRATED MID ASS BORING ASS MISCOMMUNICATING PATHETIC STUPID SHIP I'M THROWING A DAMN PARTY TOMORROW MORNING

sorry got a bit intense there i am normal i swea- did derek and krystal just.

AND FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOUR TOXIC TREVEK YAOI ‼️‼️‼️ I NEVER LIKED THEM I NEVER ROOTED FOR THEM I NEVER WANTED THEM AND LOOKIE LOOKIE ‼️‼️‼️ LOOK WHO'S WINNING WITH THIS EPISODE ‼️‼️‼️ EAT SHIT (idk who im adressing the shit eating to im just happy)

trevor why are you crying over a man that doesn't even value you as a person. get up king go kiss emily to retaliate (qpr tremily save me qpr tremily)

not only am i a prophet but i am also super petty!! and the fact that both the love triangle amd trevek got incredibly fucked over this episode it's a ten outta ten for me. complete with riya and alec winning reward, yul getting five seconds of screentime total, connor being useful and jake and aiden almost dying by a wolf... yeah 10/10 for sure.

it's a 10/10 even without my petty jokes. aiden's VA made me crack up this episode, the love triangle got a fitting end, alec deserved immunity, we all knew krystek was coming sooner or later, honestly it's a well-written episode overall what can i say!!

only thing im sad about is my aroace krystal hc is completely out the window but its a small price to pay for trevek death. disventure camp sucks too much to have the honor of aspec characters anyways

two good episodes back to back we are so back dc fans. so back!!!!!!!!

[total-drama-takes-takes-2]

tti episode 2

“Last time on Total! Takes! Island! 22 campers participated in their first challenge: a one-thousand foot dive into shark-infested waters. Most campers took the plunge, but a few were feathered and tarred by their teammates- and me! In the end, it was Fren who walked the dock of shame, and Ass who lived to play another day. Who will go home this week? Find out today, on Total! Takes! Island!”

Another beautiful morning in Wawanakwa- that is, unless you’re a camper being woken up bright and early. 

“It’s 6 AM!” Bonnie yells out the window as air horns blare over the intercom. 

“Rise and shine, sleepyheads!” Chris shouts through his megaphone. “It’s challenge time!”

The campers collect outside of their cabins, groggy and tired. Frollo arrives first, carrying his Bible with him, much to Max’s annoyance. “Are you really gonna bring that thing with you everywhere all season?”

Frollo looks thoroughly unamused. “Yes,��� 

Julia steps out next, yawning and rubbing her eyes under her glasses. She glares at both Max and Frollo as they stare at her before being ran into by Michael, who wasn’t watching where she was going. 

Mal is, of course, up bright and early, smiling. Ass stares at her with heavy bags under their eyes. “Morning person?”

“Nah, just snuck some coffee from the mess hall before Chris came out here. Want some?” She offers a thermos. Ass smiles and accepts the gift. 

“Morning, campers! Hope you had a good night of sleep, because your next challenge starts in eight minutes!” The crowd responds with a groan, much to Chris’ delight. “Time for your twenty kilometer run around the island!”

“Are you kidding me!?” Caesar shouts. Chris rolls his eyes. “You know I would never joke about torture,”

Chef walks up behind the crowd and blasts an air horn, shocking all of the campers into running (with the exception of Bonnie and Caesar, who sigh and walk instead). 

“Well, this blows. No one’s even had a huge meltdown yet,” Bonnie says, hands in their hoodie pockets as they walk. 

“Oh, they will,” Caesar chuckles. “Trust me on that.”

Bonnie shrugs and keeps walking at a steady pace as the two pass O, who's wheezing on the ground. 

The inside of the mess hall looks like a refugee hospital as the campers who have arrived already lie on the floor, the benches, the tables, panting and coughing. Joner groans for water, weakly holding a hand up, which McLovin (lying beside him) shakily high-fives. 

Peter and Sha-Mod come bounding in, breathing through their mouths. Even the picture of Lightning is red-faced as they complete this leg of the challenge for their team. 

“That’s everyone, McLame,” Patrick snaps. “Where’s our prize?”

“Oh, no,” Chris says. “This is just the beginning!”

Everyone groans. “Don’t worry, dudes, I’m sure you’ll love this part!”

Chris pulls a drawstring by a pair of heavy purple curtains and reveals a glamorous buffet, lined with every fattening, carb-heavy food you could imagine: breadsticks, mac n cheese, potatoes in all forms, a ham and a giant turkey, beans, and with dessert to spare. The whines and groans of the Fujoshis are stifled as they stare in ecstasy, and then dig in.

When they finish up, Chris giggles. “Ready for part two?”

“Part two?” McLovin groans. “Wasn’t this part two?”

“Just the beginning, my friend, just the beginning,” the host chuckles back. “It’s time for the Awake-a-Thon!”

“Don’t worry, dudes, this is an easy one! Your only goal is to stay awake!” Chris chuckles. “Whichever team member survives the twelve-hour marathon wins!”

---

MAL: “Well, I can’t say I’m proud of myself for not remembering this from the original season, but… something possessed me seeing that food. After a week of inedible garbage, it was like seeing my Twitter account finally being unsuspended after a month on my alt!”

---

10 HOURS IN

“We are ten hours into the Awake-a-Thon, and miraculously, everyone remains awake,” Chris says softly, gesturing to the contestants behind him. 

Mal sits on a patch of dead grass, using the uncomfortable surface to keep her awake. She turns to Peter, who’s looking like a zombie. 

“Hey, are you-”

And with that, Peter falls backwards and is out cold. Mal sighs. 

“One down,” McLovin mutters, mildly annoyed. 

Courtney shrugs. “Could be worse, right? I should’ve known this was coming, I've seen the original a thousand times.”

“I don’t blame you, that stupid run put my brain on the backburner. And those beans were really good,”

“Agreed,” they smile. 

The Anons are faring much better without having had the feast, though they look more “sickly and fatigued” tired than “warm and comfy” tired. 

Austin turns to Kelly, eyes tired. “How’re you holding up, baby?”

She yawns. “Well. You?”

“A little bummed we missed out on that groovy meal, but glad I have you to keep me company, eh?” he winks, earning a little blush from Kelly in return. 

O raises an eyebrow at the two from a few feet away.

---

O: “Listen, I try not to watch Total Drama too much, but I know an alliance is forming when I see one. If I’m gonna make this, I’m gonna need friends.”

---

O turns to Joner and tries to smile. “Hey man, how’re you holding up?”

He smiles back. “Tired, but good! How’re you?”

“Could be better. Hey, listen…” O points to Kelly and Austin, and then looks back at Joner. “You seem like a friendly guy, right?”

“I try!”

“Well, from one friend to another, I’d watch out for Kelly and Austin,” he mutters. “There’s an alliance brewing there.”

Joner’s eyes widen. “An alliance?!”

“You bet. And now both of us are at risk cause Kelly and Austin are the nicest players on the team. There’s no way anyone would vote them out,”

“Well… I don’t know, I’m not the biggest Austin fan,” Joner yawns. “He didn’t treat my buddy Michael very kindly yesterday.”

“Well, we’re in the minority on that. Look at them!”

O points. Kelly finishes a flower crown of daisies and dandelions and places it on Austin’s head. A butterfly lands on his shoulder and a beam of sunlight pierces the clouds and washes over them. 

“I see what you mean, man,” Joner says. “Who else can we get in on this?”

“Well, who else do you think would hate to see nice people having fun?”

Both turn to Max. 

FIFTEEN HOURS IN

Courtney’s head droops, and they’re only awoken when McLovin shakes them violently. 

“Jeez,” they mutter. “I almost lost myself there. Thanks, MC.”

“No problem. Just gotta… stay on top of the game…”

Courtney and McLovin are out seconds after. 

Michael’s eyes close for a moment too long and Max immediately splashes her face with cold water. “God! What the hell!”

“Don’t you dare fall asleep,” Max hisses. 

“You have a lot of energy in you for someone of your size,” Scary comments. 

Austin nods. “Like a baby chihuahua, baby,”

“My great-great-great grandfather on my mom’s side was the best chihuahua breeder to ever live,” Staci yawns. “True story.”

“Yeah, that’s fascinating,” Max says, taking a seat far away from everyone else. 

O and Joner make eye contact and take the opportunity to sit beside him. “You’re not that short,” O says. “My uncle is 4’9 and he’s a heavy weight lifting champion.”

“Uh-huh.”

“It’s just that Austin, huh?” Joner says. “Always making trouble.”

“Not making enough trouble, if you ask me,” 

“Yeah, that too!”

Across the way, Patrick slumps over, dead asleep. His headphones slip off and reveal he’s been listening to Madonna. 

Joner coughs, redirecting the attention back to him. “Say, if you wanted to, perhaps, join an alliance with the two of us.. Keep us safe… we wouldn’t mind,”

Max yawns. “Yeah. Whatever,”

O silently pumps his fist and nods, then sneaks off with Joner to fist bump. 

20 HOURS IN

Michael and Staci are out cold on the ground. Kelly and Austin lean on each other, and O and Scruffy keep kicking each other in their sleep. 

Scary’s eyes are open, but they’re not moving. 

“Can someone check if… if she’s dead?” Max mutters. Joner steps up and stumbles over, poking his shoulder. Scary coughs.

“Not dead. Asleep,”

“Damnit,” Max groans, before promptly slumping forwards and tumbling to the ground, fast asleep. Joner winces. 

---

JONER: “I was sitting there, like, if we lose, it’s gonna be on me,” he yells at the confessional camera, eye bags still heavy. “And then Max will drop the alliance and throw me and O to the wolves! I can’t let us down like that! and I especially can't leave Michael and McLovin alone. It's really hard to notice, but... they're not too close.”

---

“Gotta stay up… gotta stay up…” Joner murmurs, slapping himself every other sentence. 

“Congratulations, campers!” Chris says merrily. “You’ve made it to the 24 hour mark! Let’s kick things up a notch with some good old fashioned... fairy tales!”

“God, no…” Julia groans. 

“Once upon a time, there was… a quiet, sleepy village,” Chris says in a soft, soothing voice. Chef plays the harp nearby, adding a melodic tune to the dreary reading. “And in this quiet, sleepy village… nothing happened… ever”

Sha-Mod and Kitty collapse into each other, bonking their heads and getting knocked out instantly. 

40 HOURS IN

“And then they totally left their underwear in the guy’s car,” Ass chuckles. “And that’s why I’m not allowed at IHop anymore.”

Mal laughs. “You’re funny. These things really happen to you?”

They shrug. “I guess so. I think there's just something about me that attracts crazy people. What, you have a normal life?”

“Not quite, but not as exciting as yours,” she says. “I run a TD blog. A really popular blog. It’s nothing exciting, but crazy shit happens,”

“Crazy? Like what?”

Mal's eyes narrow at Courtney, who's fast asleep across the way. “Well…”

But when she turns back to Ass, their eyes are closed and their body is limp. Mal doesn't hold up for much longer after.

Frollo reads from his Bible, looking tired but not uttering a peep. 

“Ugh, how are you doing that?” Julia asks. 

“Doing what?”

“Not falling asleep reading that thing,”

Frollo looks up at her. “This “thing” is the greatest work of non-fiction ever made. It’s riveting. I'm in Leviticus right now,”

Julia yawns. “Don’t you dare,”

“Leviticus 18:22 says-”

Julia collapses. 

50 HOURS

“Listen, I really didn’t want for it to come to this, but you all give me no choice, really,” Chris sighs, pulling a book up. “I’m sure you’re all familiar with A History of Canada: The Pop-Up Book?”

Caesar groans. “God, no, please,”

“I wasn’t finished yet, compadre. This is the revised edition, with an additional thirteen chapters!”

The remaining players groan. Bonnie gives in immediately, slowly dropping. Caesar gasps. “Bonnie, no!” But it’s too late. 

That leaves only three- Frollo- still reading his Bible- Joner- fighting for his life- and Caesar- already worried about looking like a zombie tomorrow. 

“Chapter one-”

Joner lets out an earth-shattering groan, catching everyone's attention. He then sighs in defeat, curls up into a ball on the grass, and falls asleep, all his remaining effort gone. Frollo blinks, unamused, and Caesar swallows a lump in his throat. 

“Oh, come on!” Chris shouts. “This is taking forever!”

Caesar sighs loudly and stands, pacing around in circles to keep awake. A few of the fallen soldiers begin to wake up and watch in dead silence as time ticks down. Chris continues reading. Chef comes out with glasses of warm milk and cookies, which are refused. The sun sets again and the sky turns a deep shade of blue. Caesar’s steps are much slower now, but Frollo’s eyes keep drooping- it’s only a matter of time before one of them collapses. 

“This is terrible. Honestly,” Chris says, crossing his arms. He turns to Chef. “Should we make them fight each other?”

“At this point, I don’t think they’d stand a chance,” Chef shakes his head. “Something’s gotta happen eventually, right?”

Caesar’s eyes (now barely open, even as he paces) flit over towards Frollo, who’s been on the same page of his Bible for hours now. 

“You done with that yet?” he asks, barely able to speak. Frollo ignores him. “Come on, it’s not like we have anything better to do.”

Frollo looks up from his page and glares. “I don’t fraternize with the homosexual,” 

“Woah, buddy,” Caesar holds up his hands defensively. “This is a kid’s show.”

“Stop talking to me, filthy wretch,”

Caesar looks over his shoulder to Chris, who shrugs. Then, he gets an idea. He takes a seat on one of the logs around the campfire across from where Frollo is standing and forces a smile. “You know it isn’t real, right?”

Frollo shakes his head. 

“It’s just a bunch of stories loosely based on events that might have happened,” Caesar grins. “It’s less concrete than, um, RuPaul.”

“Silence, you infernal-”

“Watch it, we’re on TV,” he chuckles. “Me, personally, I was never a “God” guy. I spell it with a lowercase G and everything.”

“Enough!” Frollo stands, seething. “You will not take the Lord’s name in vain!”

“Oh, but I just did. Not that he’s going to do anything about-”

Before Caesar can finish his sentence, Frollo spins and launches the heavy book directly at his head. It hits his hair, bounces back, and smacks Frollo straight in the temple. Frollo blinks and then falls backwards. Chris stands in bewilderment, a huge, shocked grin on his face. “Is he out?”

Chef approaches and looks him over. “He’s out,”

“He’s out. He’s out! Finally!” Chris laughs. “Thank God for pompadours! Caesar wins! The Flying Fujoshis win!”

The Flying Fujoshis swarm Caesar, cheering (the ones who are awake, anyway) and the challenge officially ends as Caesar falls asleep and slumps over on Bonnie. 

---

“Anons, you put up a good fight today. Unfortunately, your remaining player was a homophobe. Sucks to suck,” Chris smiles. “You all know the drill- no marshmallow, and you’re out. Forever! Haha. Okay:”

“Staci, Scary, O, and Michael, you’re all safe. 

Next up is Kelly,

Austin,

Max, 

Julia, 

And Scruffy.”

Joner looks at Frollo nervously. Frollo blinks slowly, holding an ice pack to his head.

“Joner, you’re up for elimination for willingly giving up and possibly costing your team the win against Caesar. Frollo, you lost, big-time! But only one of you will be boarding the boat of losers tonight, and the other one is safe. And that person is….”

“Frollo. Joner, time to pack your bags,”

Joner sighs and looks to the team. “It’s been a blast, everyone,”

Michael frowns and stands, running over to Joner and giving him one last goodbye fist bump. “You’ll be missed,”

Joner smiles. “I’ll see you, man. You and McLovin better win that million for us!”

She frowns deeper. “Right. Me and McLovin,”

---

MICHAEL: "That was… rough. Even rougher considering that leaves me completely alone. And considering that Joner has been my best friend since elementary school… This has not been a good day for me,"

---

Chris watches curiously, and then waves Joner goodbye as he walks down the docks. “That was tough! Who’s gonna be hitting the road next week? And who will suffer blunt-force trauma? Find out on Total! Takes! Island!”